Somebody

It was so long ago... Now it seems to me like another life, different me, different life, different world...

Things have changed. I remember the time when I was so sad, disgusted with life, when I was alone. There was no sympathy; it was dark and cold. I remember so clearly.

Now... It is the same shit, it's just that I am not the person I was, don't know if it's for better or worse. I can't say that I've lost my faith in man, no... I just try not to get too close. I already have someone and this is more than enough for me. The acquaintances, the friendships - all sunk when the boat was just slightly rocked. Yeah, we still meet, we still talk but my heart is not open anymore. Wonder why. The truth is that we've grown. Life slapped you and that's that. But I guess I was prepared for it not because I have experienced more but because of my tremendous ability to Feel. Every thought of mine is wrapped with feelings. And this is why my world is not quite the same as yours (but I guess everybody has different eyes, that's for sure). If I had the chance to give it away, to be more analytical, more coldblooded, I wouldn't. I know I am not a genius, nor an incredible artist, I know that probably most of my dreams will go to the sewer, leaving just a bitter mark in my heart. I know it but I don't want to be something else. I may not be as outstanding as I wish to be but I.AM, I am somebody. I have my ideals, ideas, dreams, plans, loves, hopes, I have my subtle ear... I manage now, I will manage in an year. I have so many things to discover, to deal with, to swallow. So much pain is yet to come. But I am here life, come and get me. I ain't goin' anywhere. I don't know whether or not I will succeed in this battle but at least I'll try.

Honestly, I am glad I am home. I am glad that I couldn't go abroad. Fuck the career, I feel in my place here, I've got love here. So... I guess my point was that I won't be afraid - my future is in mine and in the world's hands, we'll see what happens. What's to come - I'll face it, I'll deal with it. And I will continue to grow. Forever and ever, babe... No matter in what direction.

Yours truly...